Let's move to your second paragraph: Like your introduction, this paragraph has solid content. You state your claim at the beginning-video games cause violence-then identify three ways that happens: Video games train players to act aggressive through repitition, video games encourage players to associate violence with fun and other rewards, and video games desensitize players to violence.
You also cite two sources as support your claim, a study described on CNN. In short, you do a good job of supporting your argument. Having said that, this paragraph would benefit greatly from a different organization. Right now, you jump back and forth between reasons playing video games might cause violence, evidence that video games actually cause violence in the real world the CNN study , and proof that experts consider the link between video games and violence real the AACP citation.
The paragraph would be much easier to follow if you started with the reasons video games cause violence, then moved to the CNN study and the AACP citation.
You should also consider closing the paragraph with a sentence that links it to your overall argument. For example, you could write something like, "The link between video games and violence alone would be a strong reason to limit teenagers' video game exposure. If you follow my advice, you might end up with a paragraph that looks something like this: Playing video games too much can cause players to act violently for three reasons.
First, video games train players to act aggressively by requiring them to kill enemies over and over additional explanation if needed. Second, reason and explaantion. Third, reason and explanation. Given these reasons, it is no surprise studies have shown video games cause violence. For example, one study description of the CNN study. Studies like this have prompted organizations like the American Association of Colleges of Pharmacy to Violence is one of the worse things people can do, so this alone would be reason enough for parents to restate your main point.
Unless an acroyn is extremely common or well-known among your audience, you should never use it without spelling it out.
Otherwise, readers might not know what it is. In this case, they might assume AACP is a random news site, not a group of pharmacists with a decent amount of credibility. In any case, do you see the difference between the paragraph skeleton above and your original?
Does the skeleton sound better to you? If so, I would encourage you to try to apply the same ideas to your other paragraphs. Group related points together and try to make the link between related items clear with phrases like "First I have a few other points about your other paragraphs: In the paragraph on addiction, you never explain why addiction matters.
While most people will be able to guess, I would suggest pointing out that addiction can cause people to neglect their job, their school work, their family, their friends and even basic necessities like food and sleep. Be careful making generalizations about games. For example, at one point, you say "all games have achievement which are medals usually rewarded for an incredible action in the game.
You'll have more credibility if you use more general wording like "many games In the second to last paragraph, you say most stories don't verify customers' age without providing any proof. The Entertainment Software Rating Board, the industry-funded organization that rates mass market video games, and several other groups have conducted studies to determine how often retailers ask for an ID before selling M-rated games.
Video games always provide a great pass time activity for children. These games are so many and so addictive that when a child is not controlled, he can spend all his time playing the games.
The game a child plays can be a good or a bad thing in his life. For example, children who learn how to play chess at a tender age usually show signs of high levels of intellect. However, the same case does not apply for violent video games. The effects of violent video games are as varied as the number of the games.
One effect that is common with all of them is their addiction. This can be a terrible thing because a child might not do any productive activity whenever at home. This means that he does not study when at home or even do his assignments. Consequently, his performance at school definitely deteriorates. Moreover, the child could sacrifice development of his talent such as attending a music class just for the purpose of playing a violent game. Another effect that has caused ripples among parents and the society in general is the possible violent behaviour in kids who play such games.
Several studies have been conducted to investigate the relationship between such games and violent behaviour in children. Controlled experiments place little emphasis on this relationship. The obtained results show that the negative effects of such games are quite minimal.
There is also an observation regarding these games and their players where children who are naturally aggressive prefer playing this type of games to others.
Violent Video Games. Video games always provide a great pass time activity for children. These games are so many and so addictive that when a child is not controlled, he can spend all his time playing the games.
The first and most important reason why violent video games have negative impact on child is it’s negative physical consequences. Children spend most of their time in playing violent.
Apr 15, · The future of entertainment revolves around technology. Video games become more and more realistic. The main consumers for violent video games are teens. These games encourage killing and fighting enemies. More ways of playing violent video games are created each year, but most of us have this. My Essay/Research Paper on Video Game Violence - posted in Public Forum: Paper got an A, so I guess I did something right! anyway, Im curious what you guys input is now that its written, graded and I can post it publicly. Video Game Violence and Its Influence on Maladaptive Behavior Video Game Violence has been a controversial .
Free violent video games papers, essays, and research papers. Free Essay: Bloodshed and aggression is everywhere; in magazines, in the shops, on the TV, on websites like YouTube as well as in video games. Yet, why is it.